Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee Sex Tape
Starring: Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee. (There's a sequel out too, starring Pam and Poison singer Bret Michaels.)
Location: A yacht and the back of van on a freeway.
Lighting effects: The future's so bright, Pam's gotta wear shades.
Direction: We see all the action from Tommy's point of view.
Dialogue: Romantic. "I love you, baby."
"I love you so much."
"You're insanely beautiful" and a loud: "Jesus!" (aptly enough, when Pam's bashing his Bible).
Sex acts: Three.
Description: The action kicks off with Pammy holding up a birthday cake.
You just know she's soon going to be blowing more than the candles.
She grabs the camera and films a naked Tommy Lee sitting on a chair. "Where are we?" she asks him. You're screening across the Internet, Pammy.
"On some big-ass yacht," he replies.
Close up of the tattoo on his chest. It says Mayhem.
The next shot is Tommy, naked, driving the boat.
"You're the best husband on the planet," says Pam, just before he grabs the camera and nearly drives the yacht into a rock.
We see Pam and Tommy swimming naked in the sea - and Tommy's tackle.
It's clear that it's not just his record sales that are big.
Eventually they bonk in the back of their van, as he is suddenly overtaken by lust on the freeway.
It makes sense that this tape was shot on the couple's honeymoon because it's SO romantic.
When Pammy can open her mouth, she's constantly telling Tommy that she loves him.
And he loves her back - or at least he loves her on her back.