Brooke Shields, in what seems to be a complete defiance of logic, found herself swarmed by the paparazzi yesterday. I hate to be the one to break it to her, but Brooke, you sort of look like a certain somebody who gets a lot of media attention. I know yo...

Paris Hilton seemed to be confused by the presence of her breasts while shopping yesterday in Beverly Hills. Of course, no one is more confused than my penis. Right now he's up on the roof threatening to jump. I tried to talk him down, but he's pretty ou...

WWE Diva Maria (Real name: Maria Kanellis) autographed copies of the April issue of Playboy yesterday. Maria appears totally nude in the issue which must be awesome for wrestling enthusiasts. The only thing that could make it hotter for WWE fans is if th...

Colin Farrell had his eyes set on model Meghan Lowther while drinking with some buddies at The Rose Bar in New York City. Colin decided it was time to get all Miami Vice on her ass. And not Miami Vice the steaming pile of shit movie he made, but Miami Vi...

Kate Hudson's recent trip to Miami is reportedly all about spending time with Owen Wilson. Owen's in town filming Marley & Me with Jennifer Aniston. Kate just happened to have some free time to jet down to Florida to rekindle their romance and become the...

Courtney Cox is targeting Britney Spears and Paris Hilton on her new season of FX's Dirt. I never watch the show because, quite frankly, Courtney looks like the type of chick that would eat your soul - without the courtesy of letting you see her bra. Any...

Lindsay Lohan had reportedly been asked to pose nude for Playboy and recreate Marilyn Monroe's swimming scene from Something's Gotta Give. But Dina Lohan set the record straight with Us Magazine: That [offer] never happened, she tells Usmagazine.com. Tha...

Britney Spears' conservatorship will continue for five more months which keeps her dad in control of her estate until July. The court is gay for Jamie Spears who's surprisingly getting Britney's life back in order. The AP reports: Superior Court Commissi...

Troubled pop star Michael Jackson is close to losing his fabled Neverland Ranch this month because he failed to make mortgage payments on it, and now it's been revealed his parents' and siblings' Encino home is also in jeopardy. According to gossip column...

Bai Ling is rejoicing the plea bargain in her Valentine's Day shoplifting arrest. You know, the one where she got picked up for stealing batteries and two Star magazines for a total of $16.22 and didn't even try to pay for the shit on the spot. Well, Bai...

Mary-Kate Olsen has moved on in a matter of weeks from her, what Star is calling, secret boyfriend the late Heath Ledger to Italian billionaire/drug connoisseur Lapo Elkann: While in Paris for Fashion Week, MK flirted with Lapo, the heir to the $7.3 bill...

If you've studied the Kübler-Ross model at all (and who hasn't?), you know that tragedy is typically dealt with in a multi-stage process known as the Five Stages of Grief, consisting of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The issue wi...

Jamie Lynn Spears has a guest spot on the upcoming ABC sitcom Miss Guided. A spy for E! News has a quick plot synopsis that will make you want to put a sledge hammer through your television. SPOILER ALERT! For those of you who actually heard of the show ...

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's relationship is on the line in the new season of MTV's The Hills. Supposedly there's another woman involved, and Us Magazine is running with the story - as if it's real. C'mon! Everyone knows Heidi and Spencer are the fak...

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Lindsay Lohan will host the Scandinavian Style Mansion gala next week. Britney Spears was originally scheduled to host, but organizer Claus Hjelmbak put the kibosh on those plans after Britney's second trip to the hospital. He issued the following statem...

Matthew McConaughey continues his campaign to eradicate the letter G from the English vernacular by launching, excuse me, launchin' his new clothing line j.k. livin. It's also the name of his production company and personal mantra Just keep livin'. T-shi...

It's kind of a slow news day, if you can't tell by the Matthew McConaughey post. Fortunately, something awesome did get launched by Adriana Lima and Karoline Kurkova last night. That would be the Victoria's Secret Uplift Biofit bra. I have no idea what i...

Katie Jordan Price (center) modeled the latest lingerie line for George in London today. She thought it'd be a great idea to invite six of her everyday fans to help model the undergarments. Unfortunately, one of her fans happened to be a hairless gorilla...

Patrick Swayze is rumored to have pancreatic cancer and only has five weeks to live. For the past month, the 55-year-old actor has been reportedly receiving treatment at Stanford University's top-notch cancer center in Palo Alto. The National Enquirer re...

Britney Spears taught another children's dance class at Millenium Studio last night. According to the kids, she's the greatest thing since sliced bread. Then again, what do they know? Half of them think Santa Claus is real. I mean, duh! Of course he is, ...

Dannielynn Smith is officially the heir of her late mother Anna Nicole Smith, according to a court ruling yesterday. Anna Nicole's will had only listed her late son Daniel as a heir, but it also stated that her fortune should be divided equally between a...

My Name is Earl is going to have a guest appearance by Paris Hilton who will appear as herself in a dream sequence. Earl has been knocked unconscious and various things from his life and imagination are bleed into his fevered mind. Apparently the TV show'...

The United Nations set aside their work on poverty, wars, global commerce and other such suchness to focus on doing something really important for the world: sending a tersely-worded warning to stars about drug abuse. Professor Hamid Ghodse, the UN's dru...

Attention Hollywood: mama Dina Lohan is ready for her close-up. The wannabe star is set to bring daughter Ali, 14, to the altar of stardom in a new reality show in which we'll see how they're living La Vida Lohan. Us magazine reports that a new reality sh...

Before she signed on to play Hannah Montana, Miley Cyrus promised her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, that she would go to college. But that was before she became a mega-superstar with a hit TV show and a sold-out concert tour. A source tells Star magazine that the...

Lily Allen says she wants nothing more to do with partying and vows to change her ways after suffering a miscarriage in January. The 22-year-old singer lost her baby and then split her boyfriend, Chemical Brothers star Ed Simons, shortly after that. She s...

Paris Hilton is like so pissed that we think of her as a party girl and not as a good deed do'er - which is her opinion of herself. The socialite - who just posed topless for the February issue of 944 magazine - says she wants to be taken seriously: It ma...

During Oscar weekend, Miley Cyrus met the Mistress of Sag Lindsay Lohan and the two exchanged phone numbers. It was rumored that Miley's dad country legend Billy Ray Cyrus deleted the number from Miley's phone. But Billy Ray set the record straight on Ry...

Double the Lohan posts, double the fun. That's what I, well, never say actually. In fact, I immediately regret saying it right now. Moving forward. Dina Lohan is set to premiere her new reality show this summer about her adventures cultivating young 14-y...

Britney Spears went to the doctor last night and these pics are pretty revealing that something is going down in Vaginatown. And I'm not talking about Britney looking bloated and walking like a constipated rhino. I'm talking babies. There's two items to ...

Meet Daisy de la Hoya. She's not only the niece of Oscar de la Hoya, but she's currently competing on VH1's Rock of Love 2 with Bret Michaels. I never watch the show - except for every goddamn day! Inna instead of that bitch Kristy Joe? Seriously, Bret, ...

Hayden Panettiere, my favorite undying obsession activist, stopped by Larry King Live last night and signed autographs for fans waiting outside. I'm kind of pissed because I've sent Hayden numerous unanswered requests for an interview. (Location: My pant...

Dallas Cowboy's quarterback and Jessica Simpson's current boyfriend Tony Romo got to spend the evening with her exes last night. Tony was recognized at Cosmopolitan's Fun Fearless Male of the Year awards - along with John Mayer and Dane Cook. That's awkw...

Heather Mills' own father thinks she's a greedy cow and recently spoke against her decision to drag her divorce from rock royalty Sir Paul McCartney through the courts. Mark Mills questions why his daughter Heather didn't just settle months ago with the f...

Paris Hilton pretended to look deeply spiritual by being photographed with a monk at the Urth Cafe over the weekend. Turns out the monk is an actor named Maxie Santillan. Oh, Paris, you magnificent moron you. TMZ reports: He's starred in tons of films a...

So a French actress named Marion Cotillard has questioned the 9/11 tragedy, perhaps implying that the US deliberately destroyed the Twin Towers because it was cheaper to knocked 'em down with a coupla 747 jumbo jets and haul away the debris and bodies tha...

David Hernandez, a Top 24 contest on American Idol, has a secret nude past. Turns out he was a male stripper which may put his Idol future in jeopardy, according to the AP: The 24-year-old finalist from Glendale, Ariz., once worked as a stripper at Dick'...

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Sophie Monk is setting the record straight on her ex-fiancee Benji Madden who is reportedly dating Paris Hilton. I'm assuming Benji hates his urinary tract - with a vengeance. The Australia Herald Sun reports: Let me make this as plain as possible - Benj...

The Hells Angels hatched an assassination plot to kill Mick Jagger, according to a new documentary. Mick Jagger never knew of the plot that came about when he vowed to never hire the Hells Angels again for security after a fan was killed at a 1969 Califo...

As part of her pact with Satan, Amy Winehouse got beat some more by the ugly stick this weekend. Her spokesperson confirmed to the media she's been diagnosed with impetigo which is not only contagious but makes you look like, well, Amy Winehouse. Here's ...

Kate Hudson is officially not pregnant. I'm sure you've been sitting at your desk with bated breath waiting for some sort of confirmation. Me too. Anyway, these pics were taken today and there's no baby in that belly. Kate's brother Oliver also denied th...

One week after her children's birth, Jennifer Lopez has decided that we, the little people, are worthy to know the names of her progeny. If you haven't heard them yet, then you are in for a rare treat. Brace and humble thyself. The children's names are: ...

It seems I'm staring at a lot of celebrity pouches these days to determine if a baby is, medically speaking, up in that ass. In Kate Hudson's case it's looking pretty conclusive that she is, indeed, with child. These pictures were taken last night in Mia...

Drew Barrymore and Justin Long had a romantic getaway to Mexico this weekend. These two look like a sweet couple. You know, the kind that has sex then quickly runs to separate showers for a good wash and cry. You can't put a price on a love like that. Bu...

Gorgeous Catherine Zeta-Jones thinks she's getting too old to be doing in sexy scenes in movies anymore. The Welsh actress has no problem admitting the reality of the movie business: I'm 38 years old and I'm going to play more mums than sex symbols. That'...

You thought it was going to be David who would be the problem, but it turns out it's Eddie who's blown up the Van Halen tour. Apparently guitarist and band founder Eddie Van Halen has been acting bipolar and weird and showing up smashed and late for gigs....

Welcome Max and Emme! Those are the names of the new twin babies of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony who were born at a Long Island hospital on Feb. 22, with 5-pound, 7-ounce Emme arriving about 15 minutes before her 6-pound brother. People mag reports tha...

If you hated the way The Sopranos ended their finale last season - with Tony and his family sitting around a diner and the screen cuts to black - then you'll be interested to hear that some of the cast members would be willing to keep it going. Speaking ...